Copyright June, 2007 by Scott Hays
Magazine: Men's Exercise
Topic: A Real Sex Plan For Real Men Part I
Byline: Scott Hays

Every guy can go from dud to stud.

Every man, regardless of age, diet or level of fitness, can improve his sex life by making minimal lifestyle changes. Take a moment to let that sink in. You don't have to work out day and night. You don't have to spend a month's salary on how-to sex books. All you have to do is find in yourself the motivation to tweak your life rather than turn it upside down.

Doctors who specialize in male sexual problems see a lot of guys who don't get as hard as they'd like. Sure, you can shell out $10 for a single dose of Viagra or spend a year on a psychologist's couch. But first, try two things and two things only: Improve your diet and exercise most days of the week. The research is very clear that men who do these things have better blood flow, more energy and enhanced libido. Now, that's one heck of a payoff for two easy changes.

If that's not enough, use the following steps to make yourself a warrior in bed.

STEP 1: HONE YOUR TECHNIQUE

We are a;; creatures of habit. If you've been with the same partner for a long time, you've probable settled into a comfortable routine: A little kissing, little foreplay, the same sexual positions. There is certainly nothing wrong with familiarity. Couples usually make love in the same ways because they like the way it feel. On the other hand, sexual ruts can be a real stumbling block if they arise more from routine than from a real desire.

A lot of the how-to sex guides seem to assume that every man has joints of rubber, as well as the strength to stand on his head, caress his partner and have mind-blowing sex all at the same time. In real life, few of us have the energy to turn the pursuit of pleasure into bedroom gymnastics. What you can, and should, do is occasionally shake things up in bed. Novelty is tremendous aphrodisiac.

1.) Talk often, in and out of bed. It can be hard for men and women alike to say clearly what they want in bed, especially if the things they want seem a little out there. Hey, your partner isn't a mind reader. Sure, a well-timed moan or a little bit of a hand pressure speaks volumes about what's working. But you'll never know exactly what she wants you to do (or vice-versa) unless you speak up.

Do you want more strength and pressure when she plays with you? Tell her. Do you retrogressive oral sex or light touches and teasing? Say so. Do you have fantasies about being totally passive – or, conversely, taking total control? Talk about it. Each man and woman has different likes and dislikes.

2.) Try all-day foreplay. Sex doesn't begin when you turn out the lights. Couples who report being happiest with their sex lives spend a lot of time flirting, teasing and playing. They don't wait until they're undressed. They trade sexy phone calls, full-body hugs in the hall and quick kisses that are more than a peck on the lips. Hot sex requires more than 0-60 intensity. You must keep the embers glowing.

3.) Play with positions. Even if you have a couple of favorites, take the initiative to do something new, like sex from behind instead of man-on-top. Interrupt intercourse to have oral sex rather than using your mouth only during foreplay. Try it standing, sitting or lying down. The great thing about sex is that there isn't a statute of limitations on play; you can experiment as often and in as many different ways as you like. As with anything else, it doesn't always work. You might find yourself doing more than laughing than anything else. But that's okay. That's great, actually. Intimacy means trusting each other enough to try just about anything, so don't worry about where you're going. Enjoy the journey.

STEP 2: MAXIMIZE CONTROL

Maybe you're always hard when you want to be. Maybe you always come right when you want to. Maybe you can levitate a bottle of Bud from the refrigerator to the living room couch. Get real!

Unless you're a magician (or less than honest), sexual embarrassment is a fact of life. Every man has occasions when the heat of the moment gets doused with the cold water of a flagging erection or too quick ejaculation. These and other sexual letdowns have little to do with your genetic makeup. Even when they're caused by physical problems – for example, build ups of cholesterol that inhibit blood flow to the penis – they can almost always be minimized with a combination of exercise and lifestyle changes.

Did you know that you can dramatically improve your "holding" power with a series of exercises that takes just a couple of minutes a day? Yes, it's true. Specialists in sexual dysfunction clinics report that the vast majority of men who suffer from premature ejaculation can gain significant control by combining Kegel exercises with the "squeeze" techniques that slow the rush to orgasm.

Want more motivation? Consider this: Men who practice these techniques – even men who already have good ejaculatory control – frequently report stronger and more intense orgasms.

For final two steps to improving your love life, check out Part 2 of A Real Sex Plan For Real Men" in the next ME.

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